The most important thing standing between your child and the worst smut on the Internet ... is you.

The U.S. Supreme Court last month barred enforcement of a federal law designed to shield children from sexually explicit material. The job of monitoring the family computer belongs to vigilant parents, they suggested, not the government.

So if parents are supposed to be the first line of defense, how should they defend their children?

The arsenal includes tools that are both high-tech (filters and blocking software) and no-tech (using your eyes and ears). None of it is foolproof, but it all helps in keeping objectionable content at bay.

The good news is that many of the same old-fashioned safety rules that parents always have passed on to their children still apply in cyberspace:

• Come straight home after school. Put limits on where your child can go online and how long they can spend there. Aimless wandering can lead to trouble.

Safe-surfing contract Child's pledge: 1. I will ALWAYS tell a parent or another adult immediately if something I see online is confusing or seems scary or threatening. 2. I will NEVER give out my full name, address, telephone number, school name or location, schedule, password or other identifying information when I'm online. I will check with an adult for any exceptions. 3. I will NEVER have a face-to-face meeting with someone I've met online. In rare cases, my parents may decide it's OK, but I will make sure we meet in a public place and that a parent or guardian is with me. 4. I will NEVER respond online to any messages that use bad words or words that are scary, threatening or just feel weird. If I get that kind of message, I'll print it out and tell an adult immediately. 5. I will NEVER go into a new online area that is going to cost additional money without asking permission first. 6. I will NEVER send a picture over the Internet or via regular mail to anyone without permission. 7. I will NOT give out a credit card number online without a parent present. I will not share my Internet password with anyone other than my parents. 8. I will be a good online citizen and not do anything that hurts other people or is against the law. Parents' pledge: 1. I will get to know the services and Web sites my child uses. If I don't know how to use them, I'll get my child to show me how. 2. I will set reasonable rules and guidelines for computer use by my children. I'll remember to monitor their compliance with these rules, especially when it comes to the amount of time they spend on the computer. 3. I will not overreact if my child tells me about a problem he or she is having on the Internet. Instead, we'll work together to try to solve the problem and prevent it from happening again. 4. I promise not to use a PC or the Internet as an electronic babysitter. 5. I will help make the Internet a family activity and ask my child to help plan family events using the Internet. 6. I will try to get to know my child's "online friends" just as I try to get to know his or her other friends. Young Person_________________ Date______ Parent/Guardian ________________________ Date______ Source: The Children's Partnership; SafeKids.com

• Lock the doors. Talk to children about keeping their personal information private.

• Don't talk to strangers. Children should pledge not to meet their online friends in person without a grown-up present. Parents should get to know their child's online friends just as they would their other friends.

"No one would let us talk to a stranger on the phone for two hours. Why would we let them do it online?" asked Parry Aftab, executive director of WiredSafety.org, an Internet-safety and education organization.

The linchpin of online safety is communication, experts say — talking with children about the good, bad and ugly stuff they might find on the Internet and making sure they tell an adult if they run into trouble.

"Parents have a huge responsibility when they decide to make the computer available. You're bringing things into your home you wouldn't necessarily visit in the real world," said Chance Hunt, youth-services coordinator for the Seattle Public Library.

The first step is for parents to recognize the potential for danger.

A study by the Kaiser Family Foundation in 2001 found 70 percent of teens say they have accidentally come across pornography online, and one in seven admits to lying about their age to gain access to an adult-oriented Web site.

Seattle Police Sgt. Leanne Shirey works with the Northwest Regional Internet Crimes Against Children task force and teaches Internet-safety workshops for parents. Part of the class involves parents watching while she poses as a teen posting in chat room.

Invariably, she said, a flurry of chat-room participants will respond by trying to engage her in sexual activity. Some will hook up a live Web-linked camera and expose themselves.

Shirey tells parents to create a list of family online-safety rules, which can jump-start the conversation about safe surfing.

One parent told Shirey that her son came to her with the list in his hand one day, pointing to the rule in which his parents promised not to overreact if he got into trouble online.

He had used his mother's credit card to sign up for a "free" three-day trial on a pornography site, Shirey said. But he couldn't figure out how to return to the site to cancel it. He was punished, Shirey said — but calmly.

A collection of tips for keeping kids safe online

At every age:

• Create a safe-surfing checklist or contract and post it on your computer. Decide together what kind of online activities are OK.

• Know about all the accounts used by your children and have their passwords.

• Keep computer monitors visible by placing the computer in a central area of the house and aiming the monitor toward the center of the room.

Young children (4-8):

This is the age to start the conversation about online safety rules and family values. Just as you wouldn't send your young child to the playground alone, kids need supervision and boundaries online.

Try setting up a "favorites" folder in your child's name with Web sites you've visited and approved. That gives children the freedom to explore safely.

Use filtered search engines such as Yahooligans! (www.yahooligans.com).

Even within parent-approved sites, you'll need to think about what activities are acceptable. Is it OK to enter a contest for a trip to Walt Disney World on Disney's Web site? How about filling out a survey?

Hunt, with Seattle Public Library, does not allow his two elementary-school-aged children to type their names into any boxes on Web sites without permission.

That was after his son, who was looking at a Web site his father had bookmarked, piped up: "How do I send this e-mail?" A pop-up box was prompting him to write an e-mail to a cartoon character.

"That was a real wake-up call to me," Hunt said. "There isn't that understanding that 'I'm now talking to a complete stranger.' "

Tweens (9-12)

Kids are pretty adept at being online by this age — and some parents are starting to feel outsmarted. It's time to clarify your family's rules for Internet use and think about what you'll do if — or when — your child stumbles on inappropriate cybercontent.

Many parents turn to filtering or blocking software.

The programs, which usually cost about $40, offer different options. Most screen the Web content using keywords or lists of specific categories or Web sites that the companies deem inappropriate for children.

Where to learn more: GetNetWise, a coalition of corporations and public-service organizations, has created a searchable database of filtering and blocking software and other Internet safety tools so you can compare features: kids.getnetwise.org WiredSafety offers online safety tips and age-specific activities: www.wiredkids.org NetSafeKids is a program of the National Academy of Sciences, offering practical tips on Internet safety: www.netsafekids.org Be Web Aware offers a collection of kid-friendly Web sites, search engines and chat sites: www.bewebaware.org Seattle Police Sgt. Leanne Shirey created The Internet and Your Child, an organization offering free Internet-safety workshops for parents in the Seattle area and nationwide. The next one is scheduled in Seattle for Aug. 14, 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., at North Seattle Community College. For more information, call 206-684-8651 or go to: www.theinternetandyourchild.org To report an online crime against a child, call the Internet Crimes Against Children task force: 206-684-8660.

Some also monitor how much time children spend online or allow you to block access during certain time periods. Others can prevent personal information from being sent from your computer.

The programs have gotten more sophisticated at catching objectionable material. But Web-site operators also have gotten smarter at working around them.

And Web-savvy kids can do the same — one site even offers step-by-step instructions for disabling blocking software by bypassing it with the help of a friend's computer. Some object to "muzzling" the Web and censoring what people see. The filters too often catch innocuous sites in their nets, they say — recipes involving chicken breasts or breast-cancer awareness information, for example.

Some parents direct their kids to "safe zones," kid-friendly spaces offered by Internet service providers. America Online, MSN and Earthlink are among those offering built-in parental controls that can be adapted.

Nothing substitutes for a face-to-face conversation with your child about the rules.

"This is not the place for passive parenting," said Don Hall, executive director for information technology in the Kent School District. He has taught workshops for students, teachers and parents about online safety.

Unlike television, the computer lets you send information out, "to reach out and touch or be touched," he said. "You're giving your kids the ability to interact with anyone on the planet without adult supervision."

Let children know they may accidentally come across information or pictures that make them scared or embarrassed. Encourage them to tell you about it — and promise not to overreact when they do.

Teens (13-17)

"Trust, but verify" could be your mantra for this age.

Take an inventory of what your children are doing online — is it e-mail? Instant messaging? Web surfing? Chat rooms? Know where they're spending their time so you'll know what rules to set, said Aftab, with WiredSafety.org.

Monitoring software is another option. It records which Web sites your child visits without blocking access. The software can record e-mails sent and received, online chat sessions and screen shots of where children have been.

Monitoring software can operate in "stealth" mode so your child doesn't even know it's there. But most experts recommend being up front with your children — "otherwise, it's like reading their diaries," Aftab said.

Unlike filtering or blocking software, monitoring programs can help you oversee instant messaging and chat sessions. Router-based parental controls are "your last line of defense," Hall said — a tool for the most technically advanced parents who are the most concerned about online safety.

These controls are tied into your home network, monitoring online activities and restricting what comes into and what goes out of your computer. "It's more complicated to maintain but also more impervious to students trying to get around it," Hall said.

Communication remains the key. Ask to meet your child's online friends, either by arranging an online chat or just peering over your child's shoulder.

The rules should be the same, whether they're offline or online, Hall said. "You're still needing to know where they're going and with whom. It's just that they're physically still in your house," he said. "If your student is hesitant to get you involved, that's when your interest should rise."

Jolayne Houtz: 206-464-3122 or jhoutz@seattletimes.com